This post is me opening up to myself about my long held bi-curious feelings.
17 years ago, after another break up, I started to seriously consider if I was the reason for so many failed relationships. The conclusion, maybe I wasn’t really into guys. Why this conclusion? I had always been able to acknowledge a pretty women, and would sometimes marvel at a female body. Also, I hadn't really enjoyed sex with recent partners.... certainly not as much as when I would masturbate alone. I also reflected on what might have been a teenage crush on a female friend when my sexuality was at that evolving and developing stage. So maybe I was dating the wrong gender?!
Upset at my most recent break up, I arranged to meet Anna, a close friend, in a pub local to her. I chose Anna as she had recently disclosed to close friends that she was a lesbian. If anyone could help me, surely it would be her? The first hour of the evening was mostly me moaning and a little crying. Finally I admitted that I didn't know if I was actually into women. That prompted the need for another round and her offer for me to stay at hers.
Back to Anna's I refused a further drink as I was starting to get emotional again. We sat on the sofa and chatted for a while. Suddenly she learned over and kissed me. All I can remember was thinking its weird to be kissing my friend, and not that I was kissing another women. As I am sure some of you will like to know more, my first lesbian experience unfolded as.....
..... after some kissing that started gently but soon turned into heavy petting, Anna started to fumble with my shirt buttons. Once undone she fondled my bra contained breasts before I learned forward to allow her to unclip and release them. I stripped off my shirt and bra and she hastily did the same. After more kissing and (mostly her) fondling each others boobs, her hands started to unbutton and unzip my jeans. I vividly remember feeling very turned on by also very scared. Positive emotions also included this overwhelming sense of being desired, which felt good given my situation of another rejection. I’m sure that if it wasn’t for the alcohol slushing around my body, the competing negative emotions would have stopped this before it really started.
I helped Anna to ease my jeans down to just over my knees and as she started to settle back onto the sofa I shocked myself as I blurted out for her to also take my knickers down. The act of her unveiling my kitty was very erotic. The feeling of being exposed and vulnerable was such a turn on given I was with a friend who I could trust.
She then went on to skillfully tease my pussy with a patient and considered fingers that beautifully balanced a gentle touch with more forceful and dominate presence. My orgasm was loud, intense and long.
Throughout I barely touched her, but now, once recovered, Anna enticed me closer as she undressed fully. My memory is sketchy of what I said, but I conveyed being scared and nervous. My own orgasm had flushed out much of the sexual excitement that helped to block out my trepidation. Anna didn't force anything and just asked me to kiss her and fondle her boobs while she masturbated. This first experience of another women touching herself is now embedded into my fantasies and desires towards other women.
We went out a couple of times, picture 1 is us deep in kiss during a night out. Although we would enjoy a snog together, nothing sexual happened again.
Eighteen years on and I still have sexual thoughts about other women, but it’s very selective.......my lesbian desires are not generalised and only evoked when prompted by certain people. For example, I can easily imagine sex with Jennifer Lopez. Her body, her style, her legs, her sassiness. But, Emily Blunt who I find equally attractive, instead I would rather she coaches me on her clothing style. Then there is my yoga instructor who is so friendly, nice and kind that I now find myself fancying her. My desires towards here focus around us chatting and giggling while we both masturbate. And there is a certain women on here whose womanly body and naughty nature drives me wild with desire to be seduced and ravaged by her.
Since Anna, I have only kissed another women once. Picture 2 is us messing around and teasing hubby (me on the right). I have shared an orgasm with three different women through online chat, and pic 3 is the image I sent one of these women when I admitted I was touching myself (ironically we were talking about her husbands cock!).
I like to occasionally watch a little lesbian porn, but prefer erotic art that captures lesbian scenes and women masturbating. I find art, rather than real people, easier to generate my own fantasies as I can place who I want into the scene. I also fantasise heavily about being with another couple with my body being explored and taken in equal measures by them both.
Oh, and pic 4 are me in some Christmas underwear from hubby 😍.
Katie xx